"Coaches are gurus and charlatans". This is what I sometimes hear in the media, and it makes me sad. Can a coach replace a therapist? No, they are completely different professions, and I don't question that.
I personally think that everyone should be coached. The method chosen depends on the individual.
Coaching can help transform oneself in the same way as psychotherapy. But with so many titles popping up, I thought it was important to put some order into it all. This is why I talk to you in this article about the differences between coaching and therapy.
I'm talking about coaching in the broadest sense, whether it's professional or holistic life coaching. When I talk about "therapy", I'm talking about the "psychology" professions, i.e. psychology, psychoanalysis, psychotherapy, etc.
Depending on your context and where you are in your life, you may have different needs. You may be going through a depression, a burn-out, or simply want to change. You will therefore not turn to the same professions.
Therapy responds to a need that is often urgent and/or a last resort. It is indicated when you are suffering, and you need help to get back on your feet - sometimes even medical help.
You may turn to therapy when you are going through traumas that seem insurmountable, depression, anxiety or stress levels that border on the pathological. Your need is then to exit this cycle of suffering by rebuilding your self-esteem and learning to heal.
Therapy and psychology allow you to move from dysfunctional to functional. Coaching allows you to go from functional to hyperfunctional. -Aurélia Foucart
Coaching responds to a specific personal or professional problem. You have projects and desires, you want to change something in your life, but you feel you can't do it alone. You need to be accompanied to draw on your own resources and then fly on your own. This is called goals rather than needs.
When you have a clearer vision of your need, it's time to identify your subject, what you want to work on.
The "psychology" professions are oriented towards the past. They will help you understand your past, the WHY of your blocks or behaviours. You are invited to dig, to go to the source of your dysfunctions and "problems", to identify their ramifications and implications. Therapy helps you to make sense of your past and to accept it in order to heal.
Coaching is future-oriented, action-oriented and solution-oriented. It helps you find the HOW. He/she guides you in discovering your own resources and what you are missing to move forward towards your goals. Your coach is like your cheerleader, the person who believes in you, even when you doubt. The person who is there to help you measure your achievements. With your coach, you co-create a personal development that brings joy and success.
Most of the people coached do not really have what we call "problems": they are simply approaching a period of change, sometimes experiencing doubt or discomfort, or they are going round in circles on a question, or they are struggling to mobilise their energy on a project that is dear to them, or they feel that they could achieve greater goals but do not yet know what they are and how. -International Coaching Federation
Finally, if therapy allows you to accept your past behaviours in order to heal, coaching helps you to move beyond them.
For me, the two approaches are very complementary, and feed off each other. This is partly because they have parallel origins.
Therapy, in the sense of the "psychology" professions, is placed in the continuity of psychoanalysis and the various currents that have emerged from it. It is based on expertise, important theoretical knowledge, but also on supervised practice.
Coaching comes from a mixture between brief therapies and sports coaching. It therefore combines the psychological approach linked to brief therapies such as NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), cognitive behavioural therapies (CBT), or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing), and an approach that focuses on development objectives and areas for improvement.
This explains the different methods used in coaching and psychotherapy.
Therapy is based on the analysis of present or past patterns, on the analysis of your emotions and your context. It is a support to overcome your traumas, and heal your dysfunctions, or at least calm them down. Therapy proposes to turn your gaze inwards, to enter into introspection to make sense of your behaviour and find the origin of your blockages.
Coaching relies more on tools that will help you to empower yourself, to build new habits and reflexes. The idea is that change is constant, but that our vision is fixed and blocked in conceptions - most often inherited. Coaching helps you to soften your outlook on life. Your reality changes because you look at your circumstances differently.
The tools used are different, and require a different pace and duration of use as well.
As I said before, therapy is introspective work, which requires digging deep into your memories and traumas, and this can be very uncomfortable, even if it is beneficial in the long run. Therapy follows your own pace of discovery. If you don't want to talk, then you don't talk. So there is no end date in therapy. It can last six months or two years or more. The end of therapy is when you feel it is the end, and is discussed at that time with your therapist.
In contrast, coaching has a limited duration, rarely exceeding 6 months, one year at the most. At the beginning of a coaching session, you will have a debriefing session which will highlight your needs, the intentions for the coaching and the estimated duration to reach your goals.
You then sign a contract with all these elements, which signifies both your own responsibility in your transformation, and the responsibility of your coach. Note that you can extend the duration of the coaching according to the needs and the context.
Why these differences? In coaching, time is limited to create a framework for movement and action, whereas in therapy, it is more like a time that comes to an end naturally, without force, when you feel that you have reached the end of something.
This brings me to the sixth notable difference between coaching and "psychology" professions: the posture of each party.
When you go to therapy, you are a patient. You come to receive professional support, which allows you to heal from a proven dysfunction. There is no obligation of result for you or for the counsellor.
When you start coaching, you are a client and you commit to a coach who you have chosen and who has chosen you. A coach can refuse clients who are not suitable for him/her, whereas it is not the same for therapists.
While both therapists and coaches want you to grow and get better, they do not have the same attitude towards you. One seeks to heal you, while the other seeks to guide you to tap into your own resources and develop your skills.
Therapists are -in my opinion- a receptacle for your word. It is a place where you can let the words flow, and realise what you are saying and what it says about your view of yourself and the world. There is no action to take at the end of a session. Just stay with what has emerged, and see how it evolves over time.
Coaches are more concerned with guiding you towards the formulation of solutions that will help you achieve your goals, or the intentions you set at the beginning of the coaching. It is you who arrives at your own conclusions, relevant to your context. The coach will simply guide your attention to certain parts of your speech or actions.
A coach is an expert in asking the right questions, not an expert in your life!
In all cases, coaches adopt a benevolent posture and active listening to help you feel listened to and feel better.
So yes, I know, we live in a world where diplomas are not as important as they used to be. However, I think it is essential to raise this point, which can be a source of abuse.
The 'psychology' professions are regulated, and one can only practice within the framework of a state-recognised diploma or certification. This makes it possible to reassure patients, who sometimes come with very heavy issues to be cured. There are rules to follow, a deontological code and ethics that have existed for many years.
Coaching is not a regulated profession. This means that anyone can call themselves a coach, and anyone can teach coaching, even without prior training. There is no supervision of coaches, nor are they required to join an association. It's a very fast-growing market, and although I think it's great because we all need to be coached, it can also present problems.
That's why I'm very careful about the ethics of my approach, and why it's written in black and white in my coaching contracts. It is also for this reason that I have chosen to follow a training recognised by the associations of complementary medicine (CMA), psychotherapy (NCIP) and coaching (AC).
This is an important point to consider when you want to choose your coach.
It depends on your context, your issues and your needs. It's also a question of coach or therapist. You may feel better with this or that approach, this or that personality.
In my case, I chose to do both. I went to brief therapy for a year, and I've had several coaches over the last few years, to help me move forward with different issues.
I think it also depends on where you are in your life. What do you want to focus on? Do you want to make sense of your past? Do you want to move forward with your plans? You know what's right for you right now, if you learn to listen to yourself and trust yourself.
I hope this article has helped you to see things more clearly. You should know that I offer laser coaching sessions, so that you can get a taste of the coaching experience without any long-term commitment. If you are interested, I invite you to book a Clarity Call!
Credits: Noah Buscher via Unsplash • Sarah Lei for the infography
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